Behavioral science insights for the health conscious founder

The Joy of Missing Out: How Limits Make Life Meaningful

5/21/25

Last week, I walked in my final graduation. After six years of research, teaching, publishing, and mentally wrestling with imposter syndrome, I finally earned the title of Doctor.

And yet...it still doesn’t feel like enough.

There was no metaphorical parade. No inner peace. Just a sudden awareness that now I need a potdoc, a grant, a first-author publication in Nature (yesterday).

The goalpost had moved. Again.

I thought finishing the degree would be the hard part. But it turns out, the real challenge is living in a world where you’re constantly expected to achieve more and be greater, while pretending it’s all perfectly manageable.

Sound familiar?

Welcome to the Productivity Olympics

Thanks to GenAI, AI agents, and a job market that feels like The Hunger Games, it seems like everyone’s juggling more than they can reasonably handle.

“Adulting” isn’t just a Millennial meme anymore; just search the hashtag on Instagram and you’ll find over 3.4 million posts. That’s a lot of people figuring out how to pay their bills, run errands, remember birthdays, tend to their plants, and maybe have a social life, all while remembering to hydrate.

Naturally, the response is to optimize. If we could just focus harder, time-block better, download one more productivity app, then surely we could fit more in. After all, time is our only non-renewable resource. Shouldn’t we be maximizing it?

More Isn’t Always Better

There’s no shortage of burnout advice on the internet. And it’s true that rates of depression are rising in developed countries. So what’s really the issue? Tech hasn’t really made our lives easier. It’s just made it possible to do more in less time.

Ever thought about how wild it is that we used to do office jobs without Excel? Imagine someone in the 1960s crunching numbers with a calculator and having to hand write each result on grid paper. Now, you just click a few buttons and voila 💫 pivot table.

The problem is, if everyone has access to these tools, then the competition just levels up. The bar keeps rising. That amazing YouTube vlog you posted today? There are thousands of others doing the same on a daily basis. The remote marketing job you’re eyeing? Already 1,000 applicants in the first 48 hours. Even in academia, the star researcher in your niche isn’t just publishing at alarming speeds - they’re running labs, editing journals, and applying for grants in their sleep.

So if everyone is doing more, how do you keep up?

Time is of the Essence

Here’s a mildly alarming fact: the average person only gets 4,000 weeks on this planet. That’s the bold title of Oliver Burkeman’s profound bestselling book.

We tend to think we’ll find meaning by doing more, achieving more, but Burkeman flips that idea on its head. What truly gives life meaning isn’t how much we fit in, it’s what we choose to leave out. Every decision to commit to one thing is inherently a decision to let go of others.

Take marriage, for example. The act of committing to one person is powerful precisely because it involves not pursuing every other possible relationship. Meaning arises not from infinite options, but from conscious limitation.

Reclaiming the Process

Most of us live in a telic mindset. That means we’re always working toward something, be it a goal or a deadline. When we reach one finish line, do we even pause to celebrate before our goalpost moves farther away?

But the most meaningful moments in life are atelic. That just means they don’t have a pre-defined endpoint. Playing with your pet. Journaling. Baking just for fun. Really anything can be an atelic activity, even the things you do for work, as long as you approach it for the process instead of the payoff.

So today, choose one thing to do just for the process of doing it. No end goal. No outcomes (and yes, on a meta level I realize not having a goal is technically a goal).

The Everyday Atelic Activity

Want to build more of that presence into your daily life? Start with rituals.

Rituals are a type of recurring atelic activity - things we do not to get somewhere, but because the act itself holds meaning. They can be spiritual or completely secular, elaborate or simple. What matters is that they’re repeated and emotionally resonant.

Research suggests that rituals reduce stress, increase emotional resilience, and tap into something deeply rooted in our evolutionary wiring. They give structure to chaos and help us feel grounded, even during the busiest seasons of life.

Examples of this could be playing a hype song before every big presentation, lighting a candle before winding down, eating dinner with your partner at the table, or pulling a tarot card to start the day.

Curious how rituals have shaped behavior across ancient cultures and how they continue to be integral to modern society? Dive into The Verse's Ritual White Paper for the full story.